Healthy relationship values
One of the unique characteristics of each single person is his or her value system.
Knowing your own values and priorities is very important for personal growth, correct choice of mates, and successful relationships.
In fact, it is safe to say that a singles’ value system could eventually determine the success or failure that single has in a particular relationship.
A value is an entity, situation, or condition that you consistently strive to acquire or keep.
Singles talk about their values but very few singles have actually examined their own beliefs.
Knowing your own value system is very important in your search to find a significant other, a mate, a lover, a spouse. Knowing the values of your significant other takes years.
However, values drive our lives. The fact is that the more consistently we as singles commit our time and money to something, the more we apparently value it.
The ability to identify values and commit time, money, and energy to them gives us a defined quality of life.
Use the criteria below to clarify your values. A full value will encompass the following:
You chose it freely. It was not something your mom chose or your roommate suggested.
You had adequate options for your choices.
You gave your options careful consideration.
You made a commitment to this choice and have made it public in some manner.
You continue to carry out this value on your singles’ everyday life.
Using these criteria, define your values in writing for
- Life
What is important to you about life in general: good health and physical fitness, a sense of accomplishment, fame, travel, mental vitality, recreation and play, learning, the arts, music, creative endeavors, reading, learning, spirituality, religion, helping others, protecting the environment, nature?
- Relationships
What is important to you with other people: A few of your values might be love, trust and honesty, respect from others, loyalty, family, many or few close friends, marriage, sexuality, companionship?
- Work
What is important to you in your work: Is it challenge, ownership, recognition, high learning curve, adequate free time, interesting work, stability, control, creativity, minor stress?
- Financial
What is important to you regarding finances: owning nice things, retirement, having extra money for travel or leisure, being financially secure, being debt-free, being wealthy?
Now that you know your own values, you can begin a more productive search for a significant other. Remember, though, that getting to know the value system of another person takes a long time–three years or more.
One more reason not to marry in haste.