Parenting Insight
Your children want to trust you. Make it easy for them.
Trust is based on three principles:
- Honesty
- Respect
- Reliability
Children, young and old, want honest answers to their questions. When you tell a child it won’t hurt, and it does hurt, you have deceived that child and chipped away a bit of their trust in you.
Often we try to protect a child by telling them everything will be all right. If it is not, another bit of trust has been chipped away.
There are things that children can not understand. However, they will do better if you are honest with them than if you try to protect them from the truth.
Putting on airs, pretending to be perfect, covering up mistakes, and lying by omission are all ways you can hurt the trust your child has in you.
Parents need to be reliable and consistent to be trusted. Let children feel that if you say you will do something, it will be done.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Then children see you as unreliable.
Rather than take a chance on breaking a promise say, “I will do it if I can. Although I can’t promise for sure, I will do my best to do it.”
Children deserve the respect you give others.
Would you scream at your friends, criticize them in front of others, throw away their favorite possessions, discuss with others things that were shared in private, or ignore the opinions of your friends?
I don’t think you would because if you did you would lose their respect and trust. So, also, will you lose the respect and trust of children if you do this to them.
Children love you and want to trust you. Don’t betray that trust.
