How to impress a girl on a first date
We’ve all heard that a first date, or two, or three, should be in two cars, to public places, for a short timeframe without leaving together, etc. This keeps two people from enduring a very boring, feels-like-eternity, we-hate-each-other situation. But it is also because:
Women want to be safe physically.
If you go to a public place, she will feel safer than if you plan dinner for two at your home or a stroll in the park after dinner. You can offer to pick her up, but back off quickly if she still prefers two cars. A woman feels safer physically and emotionally in her own car. And–in addition to wanting to be safe physically:
Women want to be safe emotionally.
Don’t go overboard with expense. Some men mistakenly think that an expensive date will impress women. The person you most want to impress, however, may wonder exactly what you expect for your investment. Emotional security also means:
Women want to move slowly.
Coffee, lunch, and a few phone conversations may be all you need to trust this lady with your heart. Believe me, though, it’s not all she needs to trust you with hers. Men and women have different time frames for developing serious relationships. She doesn’t want to hear that you are her soulmate or true love so soon that she has to wonder what you are really seeking. Women also feel that a man who will fall in love with her so quickly might fall out of love just as quickly.
Women don’t want to be trapped
The short date with a definite ending lessens her chances of being caught in a boring situation. You can always extend the date if you’re still clicking. Of course, you can choose an activity that allows you to shift gears. If she agrees promptly, go for it. However, if there seems to be any reluctance on her part to continue, let it go. This is long-term dating we’re talking about and there is more likely to be a tomorrow if you take it slowly today.
Women need some advance notice.
Advance notice is hard to define. A long lead time can be threatening merely because some people, men and women, don’t commit that far in advance. But calling at 5 o’clock for a date at 7:00 is almost insulting. Most women will say, “No.” Also, if she has to leave work early, get a baby-sitter at the last minute, or change clothes after work to feel comfortable, she’ll be less likely to accept late invitations. Two to four days in advance should be adequate for most women.
Women are more interested in the present
Past and future glories are not as interesting to women as the here and now. This means women are less interested in the ranch you used to own or the BMW you used to drive than they are in what’s going on in your life right now. By the same token, the exalted career you plan or the millions you are going to make tomorrow are best left out of the conversation, too. If the relationship progresses, she will want to hear your dreams and goals, but start with your life in the present.
Women are cooperating, not competing
Men are often competitive and play “one-up” with other men. Remember, this is a woman and the spirit is cooperation and mutual comfort with women, not competition.
Other conversational blunders include:
Droning on about previous relationships or excessive questions about her past loves.
Droning on about your work and career.
Droning on about your children or their children or your pets.
Droning on about your problems with IRS or your boss or your sister.
Droning on about yourself, interrupting her, or never asking questions about her.