From the beginning of your new life as a divorced or widowed parent, you need to set aside time for a social life. Make time for old friends and new friends. In particular, make room for social time without the kids in tow.
If necessary, explain that adults need time alone with friends, too, just as the children themselves need time with their own friends without mom or dad along.
Also, begin to talk to your children about the fact that you will be dating at some future time. Answer reasonable questions about what dating will or won’t mean for them.
At times those questions will include queries about intimate relations. Answers for these will have to be geared to a child’s age, of course. Speaking of intimate relations in the abstract is actually easier than discussing it after you start dating. Questions are easier to answer when an actual person has not yet entered the picture.
Although proper sex education is important for all children, it assumes greater importance for the children of single parents..
Why? They are often exposed to parents in intimate relations with a person who is not a spouse or the child’s dad/mom.
Start by thinking about your own values. You will want to transmit them to your children. Use books and even internet articles to transmit your values along with education about families, sex, love, and even relationships.
Your child is probably more knowledgeable than you think. I remember a five-year-old telling me his cousin was staying with them.. He said, ” I know he’s not really our cousin, though, because he sleeps with my mom.”
No matter how unlikely it seems that you will ever be in another long-term relationship, never say never. You will probably have a lot of explaining and words to eat if you do.